I think that I did’t explain the whole suicidal thing properly. When I said I wanted it to stop, I meant the grasping and yearning for things. It occurred to me in the car on the way to work I had’t explained it properly.
You see a pretty face and want to follow it, you hear of wealth and freedom and you want it, you are stuck bored out of your mind when you’d rather be writing songs or anything else. I don’t just want these things with a kind of “would’t it be nice”. I yearn for them – a terrible hunger that drives me nuts. I think it drives us all crazy but most people are’t aware of it.
It’s the wanting I get tired of. That barrier between self and other. The wanting the other to be complete. That’s when oblivion starts to look appealing. But I’d rather look for Nirvana, where the flame of wanting has been blown out, and you can just be. Without all of the other crap. And help others with their pain.
Nirvana is a tall order.
But that’s what I meant anyway.