Last blog entry I said I was really under the weather and struggling.

I went to see my doctor and told her that my IBS was playing up, I hadn’t slept properly in weeks and my sinus condition was playing up. My eyes also look like they belong to someone else as in they’re so sunk in you can’t see them properly.

She takes one look at me, looks at my medical history, and signs me off for two weeks

“Let them go hang”

That’s what she said.

I feel bad though – we’re in the middle of a big release. However the work I did that was on the main track has largely been done and the guy who seems to think I can be his hands driving Oracle Designer can just remember how to use it himself; it’ll be good for him to make the odd decision I think.

However, I can’t even work from home because I’d be uninsured. Once the doctor has said you aren’t fit for work then you can’t go in.

I am very tired. I have slept an awful lot, I didn’t realise how wrecked I was. Also having trouble driving, being very careful and taking my time – can’t do that instant evaluation thing I usually can.

Oddly I fired up my work laptop so I could re-initialise my Palm Tungsten (let the battery go flat) and even looking at the thing made my head hurt.

I think the main problem is a complete lack of autonomy – priorities being changed all the time and no part in the decision making process. That combined with being managed by someone who isn’t very good at people (see earlier couple of blogs). Anyway, I’m resting and trying to get my strength back. Also doing some exercise because my doctor advised this to get rid of the fatigue poisons that have been building up for so long. Did a session on my cross-trainer this morning and couldn’t get to 20 minutes. Legs are aching all the time too. Suspect I just need to rest up …